Who needs plans anyway?
by always worth trying
Summary: So. First of all, I should start by saying that I have a horrible memory. Then, I should probably mention that the weird, Spirit, not a Spirit thing inside my head likes to nibble on my memories of before. Now, knowing that, I've been plopped down where I'm not supposed to be, and expected to save everyone and everything. ...Damn my conscience.
1. Who needs plans anyways?

Hello!~ This is my first story that I've chosen to publish on here. I'm still working out the kinks with grammar and spelling, so please be patient with me. I hope you enjoy what I have here, and if so, I hope you leave a review telling me what you thought. ^^ The good, the bad, and the in between, it all helps to improve the quality of my writing and work.

I own nothing, save my personal plot idea's and OC.

* * *

My name is Daniel. I'm eighteen years old this last year, and I'm the eldest of three, living in an apartment with my Dad while my Mom deals with some family stuff up in another state. I'm a bit short and a bit skinny, with hair that's a nice chestnut brown, wavy, that brushes the tops of my shoulders. My eyes that are a dark forest green, and I'm a pretty pale guy, with a smattering of freckles across my nose. I love the color red, the taste of chocolate, hugs, and stories. I hate discrimination and the idea of my loved ones being hurt in any way. And spiders. Cause fuck them.

My name is Daniel, and I'm dead.

Or, I was at least. I remember that I'd...Gotten injured. A car accident? Something at school? Or was it something else?

I couldn't remember. That scared me, more than almost anything. Then I realized that I was feeling. I was dead, I was good and gone, yet I was still aware? Was I aware? There was...nothing around me. Just an absence of anything, save what my own mind brought up, thoughts, memories and the like. I felt no body to move, saw nothing to grow closer to, heard anything to note. There was just-nothing. Void. A vast emptiness that made me feel so very alone, and at the same time, like at any moment I could be swept up into it and swallowed whole.

I was the one thing sticking out in this place, just by existing.

Some fear the idea of being simply gone after death, having no soul that goes onto an afterlife forever more. That is nothing...Nothing compared to being the one and only something in a complete and utter void.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to thrash and cry and be! But no matter how hard I tried, or how much I wanted to, I was stuck there. I couldn't even tell if I was moving. Was this even real? I'd tried to envision the Nothingness from the Never Ending Story, but...My mind had never come up with something so encompassing, so disturbing as what I was-wasn't in at the moment.

Part of my panicked mind wondered if being in such a place, or lack of one, would drive me insane? Would it even matter in the end? Was this ever going to end!? Then, I wasn't alone anymore. And suddenly, I wondered if being alone would have been better than having company.

Old. So very very old, and with that age came power. Like...That aura of respect or command that some people have. A natural charisma that draws folk near like a moth to the flame. It was like that, save so, so, so much more powerful. I was afraid I would simple get burned up just by being near the being. It encircled me slowly, carefully, curiosity washing over me and making me feel small and weak. That curiosity turned to alarm, though the feedback that I got from the emotion was less intense than the curiosity, muffled and indistinct, as if being forcefully held back. I felt my own confusion and fear rising up, sadness at my own death hitting me as suddenly reality was more present thanks to another 'somethings' presence, tearing at my being.

The ancient being pulled back as if burned by something, then curled even closer around what I suppose was my conscious. The sensation of being carried came over me, though I knew that the feeling was wrong, as I had no form. God, there was nothing! What was this thing anyway?! Where were we going, what was going to happen, whatwasthisplacehelpohpleasehelpIcan'tstandallthenothing!

And then the curious feeling of being asleep, but awake at the same time overcame me. Of being detached from my panic and fear, of my weariness and the strain on my mind that came from being in a void. I was watching nothing, as there was nothing. I was being carried, but there was nothing to carry, and nothing that was carrying. My eyes were gone, but they knew that they could see nothing. But I could see what carried me through the eyes of something that wasn't...quite nothing. It glowed. Bright and warm and inviting. Like a ball of light that pulsed and flickered with every color imaginable, and some that weren't. It was like watching a dream that had stepped out of someone's head and started moving on it's own. The landscape, the creatures, all of the dream wrapped up in one big orb that brought the feeling of...peace.

And in the midst of that light was something much, much smaller. Not an orb, but not shaped like a human, not like me. It was-I was odd. I was like this flickering goo, constantly shifting and moving, even as the dull glow signifying my state of other told me that I wasn't the one moving myself. What a confusing thing. To see oneself while unconscious, yet also aware that you aren't physical enough to even be in a state of unconsciousness. I...wanted to feel confused, at the very least. I wanted to feel fear at the strange state I had been reduced to, and the increasingly hard to bear void that surrounded myself and the massive being that carried me.

But all those emotions were tied to that little flickering mass that was me. And I couldn't reach it-me. Every time I tried, I was gently pushed back, kept at a specific distance from both it and the being.

Then there was another being. Smaller than the one that carried me, younger, but still ancient and powerful. Damaged and torn, but so very bright that it felt like it should be painful to sense, but all that I felt was a muffled peace emanating from it. Moments passed as the two beings met. Or eternities, I wasn't sure. All I knew was that when they were done, that flickering light that was me, yet wasn't all of me, was handed over and cradled by the bright, peaceful one. It paused, watching the one that had brought me here leave, then turned it's attention to me. Not the flickering light, but the me that was separate from it, from my emotions.

Come. Be whole. Be born again.

And then all was dark once more. I could no longer see the bright being, but I could feel it wrapped around me. So could I feel the panic and peace that was rushing through me, at odds with each other. I didn't have much time to even try to sort through all of that, before I was pushed towards something.

Hugged tight. Over and through something. Pushing past something that streeetched...Then snapped.

My name is Daniel/The First.

I am eighteen years old/old as time itself.

I am dead/finally alive.

And something went wrong after I died/after we combined.

* * *

You know that feeling you get when someone's watching you? You know, that prickling sensation on the back of your neck, that uneasiness in your chest, that shiver down your spine? That one. Now, take those feelings, those sensations, and multiply them by ten. Shape that prickling sensation into one of needles stabbing into your skin. The uneasiness shifting into your lungs struggling to breath, as if they've forgotten how. That shiver changing into one of uncontrollable spasms all along your body, as you can no longer control yourself. Nothing is yours to control, and through it all, you know it's because something is watching you. No, something is inside you, and looking out through your own eyes.

And neither of you want what's going on.

That's what I felt like. That's what I lived when I first woke up, struggling to breath and flopping on the ground like a fish out of water, tears streaming down my face because everything hurt so much, everything was too much for me to handle. Lights, colors, sounds, the feeling of cloth against my skin like sandpaper, the cold of the stone beneath me like icicles stabbing into my core.

I don't really remember much of the first few minutes of being awake. I wouldn't for a while. But I do remember seeing something that was...Bright. It didn't hurt my eyes like the torchlight. The screams of someone nearby didn't feel like knives in my ears as my eyes locked onto that strange thing. A spasm sent my arm flopping towards it, and my hand landed on the pleasant looking something. Then there was pain. And fear. And the sense that what had happened was not meant to be. Something had gone wrong, and the presence that had been looking through my eyes was no longer able to see. No longer able to feel or sense. It was just me in control.

But I could still feel it inside me. I could still feel that it was just as confused as I was.

When I think back, that's what sticks out the most to me. That whatever had been planned by everyone had failed, and that I was the reason why, for the most part. Kinda cool, kinda sucky, but there it is.

The rest was mostly sucky for a while after that though.

* * *

When I woke up, it was to a mix of some of my least favorite sensations ever.

My mouth was dry, my tongue feeling like sandpaper in my mouth, that weird texture that you get when you've been sleeping with your mouth open all night, and even your throat feels sore and barren of any moisture. My eyes were similarly dry, and the bit of light that I could see as I squinted my eyes open was painful. That, along with the general soreness of my body, as if I'd overdone it in Marching Band, and feeling exhausted, made me feel as if I should be calling in sick with everything and everyone, and rolling over to go back to bed.

The fact that I wasn't in my bed, and there were men in chain mail pointing very sharp looking swords at me was a reason not to. The angry ball of pain that glowed and was stuck to my left hand was another.

Suddenly, it didn't matter that I was in pain, or that my eyes and mouth, and pretty much everything was sore and dry. One, because of the men with swords.

Two, because Cassandra and Leliana stalked into the room, looking very, very pissed.

My brain's gears stuttered to a screeching halt. My mouth was hanging open in pure surprise and disbelief. And there may have been a rather embarrassing squeak that escaped. Cassandra, in all her short cropped hair and armored glory, stomped forward and circled me, Leliana gliding forward like a panther, both looking ready to stab the shit out of me. I swallowed hard as Cassandra's voice sounded right next to my ear,"Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now. The conclave is destroyed, everyone who attended is dead," She circled back to the front, coming up with Leliana by her side. They both looked at me, the coldness in their eyes making me shiver,"Except for you,"

A pause, both looking at me expectantly, and I suddenly realized that I was the one that was supposed to respond. Oh shit, I was the one that had to respond! There was no paths to take! My panic must have shown, because Leliana's eyes narrowed contemplatively, and Cassandra's lip curled, her hand falling to the hilt of her sword.

"W-wait! I...I'm sorry, b-but I don't know how I survived, I-I don't even know how I got here in the first place!" I stutter out, wincing at how Cassandra reacts immediately by yanking my bound hands up, the green mark on it flaring painfully, making me gasp.

"Then explain this!" She grinds out, her gaze pinning me in place.

I open my mouth to explain how I got it, knowing all the lore-

There's nothing. I couldn't...I couldn't remember what had given it to me, or what...what was it that had happened at the Conclave?

"I...I knew...I knew something, but I can't...I can't reach the memories," I stammer.

"What do you mean, you 'knew something'?!" She snarls out, circling me once more, they both were.

"I don't know, I'm sorry! It's all jumbled-"

"You're lying!" She snaps, grabbing me by my shoulders and shaking me hard enough to make my teeth clack together painfully.

Leliana is quick to pull her back, murmuring to her reassuringly, then turning to me with a frown. I swallow, the dryness of my throat unbearable,"W-was I...Was I really the only person that?..."I trail off, paling as I start to think about just how many people would have been at such an event. Servants, diplomats, the Divine, those who wished to view the meetings, representatives of all Kingdoms,"Oh my god...They're...they're all gone," I whisper, my vision wavering a little, feeling nauseous and lightheaded all at the same time. What if there had been children in the blast?!

Leliana steps forward, eyeing me with an unreadable expression, hands deceptively close to the daggers at her waist,"Do you remember what happened? How this all began?" She asks, not unkindly, though I have trouble focusing on her as Cassandra begins to circle me once more, making me flinch and shift away from the intimidating woman. My brow furrows, my eyes closing and darting around as I try to...to reach something about what had happened, to push past the light headedness that had hit me as I imagined all the lives that had been lost.

Fear. So much fear. Knowing that I'm not alone, and being afraid of that, then finding something bigger to fear. Hope, desperation, someone else…

"I remember...Something in my head...Being afraid, then running, trying to get away, and then...Someone. A woman…"

"A woman?" Leliana asked, crossing her arms and shifting a little, her interest clear.

I nod slowly, trying to ignore the heavy foot falls of the warrior next to me,"She felt like hope...she was safe, a-and we reached for each other, then…"I trail off, my breath catching as it ends there. The memory feeling cut off, as if someone had taken a pair of scissors to a movie reel.

"Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I will take the...Prisoner, to the rift," Cassandra murmurs, guiding Leliana towards the door. The cowled woman nods, though her expression looked...disappointed.

Cassandra approaches, and I lean back warily. I...I felt like I shouldn't react that way. I knew things about this woman, good things, but...she also terrified me. She knelt down in front of me, unshackling me,"Something...big, happened, to the Temple, didn't it?" I ask in a murmur.

She looks up to meet my gaze for a moment, indecision in her eyes, before she nods,"It would be better if I showed you what happened, instead of explaining it."

* * *

Part of me knew that this was coming. But It was like a part of me was still in disbelief that any of this was real, that any of it was even possible.

There is was though. A massive fucking hole in the sky that was slowly growing, spitting out green balls of death that smashed into the earth below like comets. Comets that then started to get up and kill everything around it. "We call it the Breach," I hear, and my gaze turns from the Big Hole of Doom, to Cassandra, whose looking up at said hole,"It's a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour," She turns, walking back towards me with a grim expression, the cold mountain air swirling around both of us,"It's not the only such rift, but it is the largest, and all were caused by the explosion that destroyed the Conclave,"

My eyes went from her, back to the hole,"...So much for physics." I mutter, feeling a bit green myself.

Cassandra raises a brow at that, then shakes her head,"Unless we act, the Breach may grow until it consumes the entire world," She intones solemnly.

And then there's pain. White, hot, agonizing pain that sends me to my knees as my hand flares up like a miniature green star, a scream ripping its way from my throat before I can't even do that. It only lasts for a few seconds, but each one feels like an eternity to me. I can barely hear Cassandra as she tells me that the Mark expands with the Breach, something that I already knew, and that it was killing me, another thing I knew. Well...knew, but hadn't let set in yet.

The pain helped to get the point settled in pretty well.

"It may be the key to stopping this, but there isn't much time!"

Well, no fucking duh! I look up, glaring at her through my long bangs, my breath labored and making the snow streaked strands stir,"N-no shit. L-lets go fix this while I can still walk, y-yeah?" I stutter out, the pain and the cold around me making me both more snappy, and causing my teeth to chatter,"F-fucking mark, fucking Breach," I snarl under my breath, stumbling to my feet unsteadily, Cassandra rising with me,"W-when I find out who the hell did this, I'm kicking him in the balls, t-then giving him to you to kill the hell out of."

I wasn't sure if the look of amusement mixed with uncertainty was laugh worthy, or enough to make me break down and start crying. From the way that she held onto my arm and dragged me along, a bit of both.

We passed through the camp, the glares and whispers causing Cassandra to talk of how everyone was mourning Justinia, and how the Conclave was a chance for peace between Mages and Templars. We pause on a bridge, the 'shnk' of a dagger being unsheathed making my shuffle a little nervously in place,"There will be a trial, I can promise no more," Cassandra stepped forward, cutting me from my bonds,"Come, it is not far," She finished, turning and beginning to march away.

I rubbed my wrists for a second, trying to get feeling back into them, while at the same time trying to ignore the pain in my left hand,"Thank you. That's more than most would give, given the circumstances," I say softly, jogging a little to catch up with her.

She looked at me from the corner of her eye as I start to jog abreast with her, then gave me a nod,"If nothing else, I will see justice done, and done properly," She turns away, and we travel in silence for a while, stepping past a burning cart and a few bodies, which make me want to wretch at the sight of. Those were people. They had lives, and souls, and emotions and-

"A-aahhhhh!" Once again, I'm sent to my knees, almost face first into the snow as my mark flares again, shorter this time, but still with that white hot intensity that has me panting and shaking afterwards.

Cassandra swoops down, helping me back onto my feet, as unsteady as they are, and patting my shoulder with a grim look,"The pulses are coming faster now, the larger the Breach grows, the more Rifts that appear, and the more Demons we face," She turns away, and we continue on our way. Or, she keeps walking, and I stumble behind while trying to retain consciousness.

"I-I'd ask how I survived, but I have a bad feeling that whatever it was won't help in the long run," I mumble, something in the back of my mind nudging me to mention it.

"They say you...stepped out of a Rift, then fell unconscious. They also say that there was a woman behind you when you stepped out, some think that she was Andraste herself," There's a mix of doubt and hope in her voice that has me smiling, though wryly as I'm not quite walking without feeling like I'm about to fall over.

I stayed silent after that. Not much I could really say to that really.

We made it onto another bridge, a couple of soldiers on the other side, keeping watch for any-

BOOM!

Suddenly we were falling, courtesy of a massive ball of green flame impacting against the bridge, sending me flying like a rag doll onto the ice of the river below. Or, almost onto the ice. I managed to land in a snow drift that had formed thanks to the wind and the snow fall. I'm still left gasping, pain flaring along my right side, the cushion of the snow not being enough to truly keep the pain from hitting. I gulp down air like it's water, and I'm in the middle of a desert, black spots flickering over my vision, before I'm able to calm myself down, stomaching the pain a bit better now. Fuuuck, my ribs…

I roll over slowly, till I'm facing away from the rubble of the bridge, which had fallen scarily close to my head, just in time to see Cassandra start fighting a monster off in the distance, and another one crawling up from the ice to begin coming towards me with malicious intent pouring off it in waves. I could barely even move, let alone try to stand and fight this thing! What was I-

Stand up. Stand strong. Be not afraid, for I am with you.

Warmth blossomed throughout my body, the ache of my rips dulling to just a tingle, the sharp stab of the cold and the burn of the mark on my hand fading to a strange fuzzy sensation. I found myself standing smoothly, back straight and head tilted back defiantly, facing this Shade that was twisted by Fear and pain to dare attack me. I spared a glance at the weapons that littered the ground around me, eyeing the swords and shields, the lone staff that had tumbled down as well.

I didn't need them.

I lifted my hands up, as if to gesture for the Shade to stop in it's tracks, then murmured,"Flame." The dark being's corrupted form burst into white hot flames, eating at it's essence like it was tar, inhuman screams ripping their way through the air. And through it all, I stared impassively, watching as the same flames that burned this creature poured from my hands like water from a geyser, gushing out to reduce those that opposed me to ashes.

"What is this?! This is like no magic I have ever seen before, what are you?!"

And like that, the warmth fades. The pain returns with a vengeance and it feels as if the cold slams into me like a physical force, making me stumble and gasp for air, clutching my bruised side with one arm, while the other flails out for balance. My head whips up, eyes wide as they see Cassandra looking at me with a mix of confusion and fear, sword dripping a ghastly essence, and still drawn.

I swallow hard. What had that been? It was like someone else had just-just taken control of my body and...I grew even more pale and let out a groan, toppling over onto my arm heavily, barely staying up,"F-fuuuck…"I grind out, then shake my head,"Wasn't me. After this, just...send me to the Templars or something. I don't...I don't know what that was, but it wasn't me doing it," I look up with a grimace,"I really don't want to turn into an abomination. I don't want to hurt anyone, so if I look like I'm about to…" I licked my chapped lips, the cold making them sting,"Just make sure I can't."

She hesitated, eyeing me warily. My obvious pain and my words must have gotten through to her a bit though, because she lowered her weapon a little and nudged her head for me to get up,"Your...your journey into the Fade must have…" She trailed off, then gave me a pitying look, one that made me feel even more weak,"I am sorry. Fate is not kind to you, it seems. Do not worry, I will watch you to ensure you do not become a danger."

I nod my head wordlessly, clambering to my feet. I eye the weapons on the ground, then shake my head. I didn't even know how to use any of them. I was more likely to put myself or Cassandra in danger if I took one, than if I just tried to keep back.

We kept moving, Cassandra shouldering the brunt of the combat, tearing apart another Shade, then charging up the steps on the next hillside to dispel a Wisp. I stayed back, occasionally throwing rocks at said Wisp whenever it looked ready to blast Cassandra whilst she dealt with the melee fighter. Or, trying to at least. As it was, I only managed to distract it and throw off it's aim by making noise, rather than actually managing to hit it. It was all I could do. I didn't want...No, I couldn't risk waking up whatever was in me again, and if nothing else, I could be the most annoying pest ever. High school taught me that much at least, if nothing else. It went on like that, making our way down the steep slope as quickly as we dared, even as more Demons fell from the Breach like fucking rain from a storm.

Cassandra charged in valiantly. I scrambled for more rocks.

Cassandra managed to take down a bunch of the Shades. I got all the Wisps to focus on me.

I managed to find some cover behind a snowdrift, trying to keep my breathing even and deep instead of spiralling into panicked pants the way it wanted to, listening to the way the snow sizzled as bolts of pure negative emotion and magic blasted into the weak barrier I'd put between myself and the Wisps. I could hear Cassandra let out a grunt of pain, then let loose a roar of challenge, hear the 'shhing' of her blade cutting through the air.

It was to bad that she was only dealing with two of them, and not all three.

I hear a rattling, airy noise above me, like the mix between a breath, and the sound of leaves being rustled, and looked up. Riiight into the blank face of the third Wisp. I yelped, curling up and thrusting my hands out, panic surging through my system like lightning, hoping beyond hope that if whatever was in my head with me woke up, it wouldn't attack Cassandra-

 _ **Z-zzzzsst!**_

I stared in blank awe as the Wisp was thrown back by a bolt of purple energy that had surged from my hands, the creature twitching and spasming, it's form wavering as arcs of the strangely colored electricity raced along it's body. It managed to right itself, the arcs growing smaller, then raised its arms to throw a ball of bad joojoo at me.

Right before Cassandra barreled into it like a pissed off bull.

Just the act of her shield ramming into it was enough to make it disperse, and I could only stare owlishly at where it'd been,"...Welp. I guess I can help a bit more," I say airily, an edge of hysterical disbelief coating my tone,"No, being possessed wasn't enough, I just had to get turned into a Mage as well. Sure. Why not?" I start to ramble, getting up and dusting the snow from my backside, ignoring the cold damp that had seeped into my underwear with the experience of a true Band Kid. I don't even look at Cassandra, and instead start to limp as fast as I can up the stairs towards where the sounds of fighting are still going on,"Come on. I really really just wanna get this over with," I call over my shoulder, and I feel relieved when the sound of metal armor echoes behind me.

The awkward silence between us was something that I'd laugh about later. Maybe. You know, if I lived past this.

We crested the summit of the steps, looking down at the battle below us. A dwarf, Varric dancing around while letting loose bolts that sunk deep into the Demons around him. A bald elf, Solas, twirling his staff like a pro, sending shards of ice and bolts of lightning flying in a dangerous dance of magic. I stood there for a second while Cassandra jumped down to wade into the fray.

That was Varric. That was one of my favorite characters in the whole game.

And that was fucking Solas. A God. I...I knew he was tied to what happened at the Conclave, but not everything was there. I knew he was dangerous, to say the least.

I took a deep breath...then jumped down, splaying my hands in front of me towards two Shades, eyes narrowing in concentration. Think about what you want, then will it to happen, right? Cold, biting and everywhere, sinking into every crevice and crack, slicing into your skin the moment you step outside into the snow. And I wanted it to slice into these to sorry bastards. I was a bit disappointed when nothing happened at first, then surprised when the Shades both began to slow down, their movements jerky and increasingly frustrated as frost began to lick and spread across their forms, until they were coated in thin layers that didn't look like they'd last for long.

Well, it was long enough for Varric and Cassandra to shatter them both, and for the fight to come to an end at least.

I let out a breath of relief, happy to see that there weren't anymore Demons, and-

"Quickly, before more come through!"

I yelp as I'm dragged towards the glowing Rift in the air, eyes wide as my hand is thrust towards it, a tingle of something other coming from Solas making the Mark flare to life and lurch out towards the tear. I gasp, then bite my lip to keep from crying out as pain flares down my arm, making my vision go fuzzy for a moment as the Mark pulls at the edges of the Rift, till it snaps shut suddenly, and I'm able to pull myself away, stumbling.

"Ow, fuck that hurts! Mmph, shit, the big one is gonna hurt like a bitch!" Comes out of my mouth before I'm able to stop it, cradling my hand to my chest with a grimace.

I hear a snort from behind me, along with a following noise of disgust. At my language, or the snorter, I couldn't tell.

Solas raises an eyebrow at me, his...damn it, he was slightly taller than me. His grey eyes partly amused, partly annoyed,"It seems that whatever magic opened the Breach, and placed that Mark on your hand, can also close it. It seems my hypothoses was correct," He muses, his lips pulling into a small smile that made him look rather...Charming.

Cassandra came up from behind me, a layer of eagerness to her voice,"So it could also the Breach itself!" She murmured.

"Possibly. It seems you hold the key to our salvation," Solas replies, folding his hands around his staff and nodding to me.

"Good to know, and here I thought we'd be ass deep in Demons forever!" A more rustic voice chimed in, and my gaze was pulled towards Varric who approached the rest of the group with a charming smile,"Varric Tethras: Rogue, Storyteller, and occasionally," He gave a little wink to Cassandra," Unwelcome tag along."

I blinked owlishly at him for a second, marveling at how, despite the fact that he was shorter than me, he seemed to have a large presence,"Uhm...Hi...I'm Daniel. Regular person turned into a Mage, slash everyone's salvation, it seems."

His eyebrows raising at my introduction had me wanting to sink into the ground,"In that case, better make sure that you don't end up dead in the valley, me and Bianca can help with that," He says wryly. Cassandra's immediate refusal, and Varric's strategic counter to her argument told me that they would probably not get along at all for a while.

"My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I am pleased to see you still live," Said elf intones, placing a hand over his heart in greeting with a slight nod.

Varrics translation of,"He means,'I kept that mark from killing you while you slept,'" was enough to make me have to suppress a wry grin.

I turn to Solas, offering a small bow,"Thank you. I...I don't know how much longer I'll be alive, but thanks for giving me the chance to try and help fix things," I reply, swallowing back the urge to spill everything out into the open. I was pretty sure I'd survive. It was the idea that I might be possessed that really scared the shit out of me. That, and the prospect of intense pain in my future.

Solas looked...almost flustered at my response, but nodded to me,"You are welcome, though…"He trails off, eyeing me with a furrowed brow. He shakes his head, then turns to Cassandra,"Cassandra, you should know, the magics at work are unlike any I've ever seen," He spares me another glance, frowning,"Daniel may be a Mage, but I doubt that any Mage has the power to do what has been done at the Conclave."

"Understood. We should make our way to the forward camp, Leliana is expecting us," Cassandra says grimly, and I have to wonder. Was that the moment that she really started to doubt I was involved?

We all trade looks, share that moment in which we prepare ourselves to travel together. Well, for them it was probably like that. For me, I was wondering how the hell I was supposed to keep up the same pace I'd been making for this whole thing, with probably cracked ribs. While the rest of the group hopped over the short little fence that blocked our path, I grimaced and started to gingerly climb over. The adrenaline from earlier had abated, and now I was reaaally feeling every movement. Every breath hurt a little, and I swear that I saw stars for a second when I had to twist my lower body a bit to get over the side.

Solas frowned, then glided over, his hand already glowing with a tell tale soft blue light, before he pressed it to my side,"You should have mentioned that you were injured," He murmured, his eyes flicking up to expresses his disapproval, before he focused on what was wrong with my insides,"Three cracked ribs...More bruised. Did you fall off a cliff to sustain such injuries?"

I held my breath as the feeling of his magic seeped into me, part of me shivering and wanting to recoil at the foreign sensation, like a cool hand pressing gently inside of me without pain. Another part of me coiled and practically purred as the pain in my chest abated, and breathing suddenly got easier,"E-eh. Got blown off of a bridge and landed badly," I muttered, face flushing in embarrassment. From the fact that I had fallen like that, or the feeling of someone else's representation of Will inside of me, or how close Solas was...I wasn't sure.

He rose an eyebrow,"Perhaps we should avoid any further bridges then. It would not do for you to fall down again, after all," He drawled dryly. He pulled back his hand, the cool sensation fading, leaving only a small ache where it had once burned,"I am no proper Healer, but that should do for now, I believe,"

"Good to know. Though, shouldn't we be rushing towards certain death right about now?" Varric interjected, jolting me out of my daze. Solas nods his head, turning and thumping along with his staff down the path.

I take a deep breath, marveling at how it didn't feel strained. There was a small bit of pain, a pinch, but not something that would make me keel over in a fight. I hoped.

We moved on, encountering the group of Demons on the river banks. Varric and Solas kept back, shooting bolts and spells off towards the incoming enemies while Cassandra charged in to occupy their attention. I floundered for a moment, standing there awkwardly, until I uncertainly raised my hands towards one of the Wisps on the far side. "Please let this work," I muttered to myself, before I began to bring up memories of storms. The whipping winds, the smell of ozone in the air, the way my hair would raise on the back of my neck before the rain would hit. The flash of Lightning and the boom of Thunder-

 ** _ZZZZ-BOOM!_**

I watched bug eyed as the few Wisps that had gathered on the opposite side of the frozen river were tossed about like ethereal rag dolls, as a bolt of Lightning struck down from the sky, impacting in the center of them all. I let out a whoop of joy, which quickly turned into a groan when the Wisps quickly got back up and as one turned towards me menacingly. The next few minutes were that of me playing a much more deadly version of Dodge ball with three assholes from the other side, while the Shades were taken care of by the rest of the group. Eventually, they took over while I took a breather behind a rock, trying to calm my heart and lower the allegro tempo into that of something less intense.

"Well, that was probably the most flashy, yet ineffective lightning spell I've seen. Unless you wanted all of their attention on you?"

I let out a girlish scream, jumping and scrambling away from the voice that had sounded right next to my ear, not a sound indicating that anyone was approaching. I looked wide eyed at the clearly amused Dwarf that was casually leaning against the boulder that I had claimed as mine, then narrowed my eyes. I considered throwing a snowball at him...But it wouldn't hit, knowing my luck. "I found out I could make stuff freeze under my own will about half an hour ago, give me a break," I grumble, flushing brightly and getting up quickly, brushing the snow off me once more,"I'm sorta just winging it at this point, so I consider the fact that I got even just that much to be a miracle." Varric raises an eyebrow at that, then pushes off of the boulder, beginning to walk towards the large staircase that led up towards what I assumed was the...Wait, wasn't there a Rift at the end?…

A few battles later, where I was barely able to do more than irritate the Wisps into attacking only me, drawing the ire of Solas and Cassandra and the amusement of Varric, I was proven right.

In front of the gate that lead to the camp that we were supposed to be at, was another glowing rip in time and space, contentedly spewing out more Demons for us to deal with.

I narrowed my eyes as the rest of the group once again formed up, Cassandra diving in with a righteous fury in her eyes that made me a bit wary, while Varric and Solas provided long range backup. A few archers up on the battlements of the Gate lent their aid as well, firing at what they could, and shouting warnings to the fighters below. I ignored all of that, and focused on the rip in the air. When something rips or tears, there were a few ways to mend it. Sowing was common for cloth. Welding for metal. Gluing for pottery. In this cause...I was going to go with a bit of a mixture.

I held up my hand that flared painfully at the proximity of the Rift, concentrating on forming whatever energy or magic was in it, into a substance that would cling to the edges of the Rift. I bit my lip, bracing my arm with my other hand, closing my eyes and focusing on the image inside my mind. Tendrils of green spreading out from my Mark, latching onto the edges, pulling it towards a central mass that would shrink as I pulled the energy out of it, sealing the Rift.

When I heard a loud snap, and the pulling feeling I hadn't realized was there vanished, making me topple over ass over tea kettle, I was pretty sure it had worked.

I popped my head up from the snow drift I'd landed in, looking around eagerly. No Demons? Check. Everyone alive? Double check. I beamed, then clambered onto my feet,"That wasn't as bad. Thinking about it before...hand...helped reduce the pain."I made a face at the unintentional pun I'd made.

"Well, if that is what helps you close the Rifts, and potentially the Breach, then I suppose that is what you must do," Solas comments, sounding slightly...Exasperated? Huh oh well, I supposed.

We made our way past the Gate, and I spied Leliana speaking with a rather surly man dressed in robes that looked highly uncomfortable and unlikely to actually warm in this kind of weather. As we dear near, he cut her off, turning to us, and pointing the biggest stink eye I have ever had the displeasure of seeing at me.

"Chancellor Rodrick, this is-" Leliana began again, only be cut off another time. The look on her face told of her desire to cut something off…

"I know who he is. What I don't know, is why he isn't in chains headed towards Orlais to be tried and hanged for his crimes," He sneered, his grizzled face making it look even more unpleasant.

I scowled, his entire demeanor reminding me of a mixture of a singularly unpleasant teacher I'd once had, and the above it all Elders of the church my grandparents had gone to,"Because there's a massive hole in the sky that threatens life itself for every living being on this planet, and I might be of more use alive than dead to you and the Chantry by potentially dying, cause it sucks to use this Mark thing, to save the world and maybe, just maybe, help figure out the hows and whys as to what happened to the Conclave?" I sniped right back, my hands falling to my hips as I rose my chin a little,"Or maybe because you have yet to actually conduct an investigation of any kind about this matter, and so are obviously only wishing to find something to blame, so that you can let out your own frustrations while ignoring the world ending event literally right above your head?"

"Oh snap…" Was heard behind me, but I didn't look back at Varric, or acknowledge that I'd heard it.

The Chancellor gaped at me for a moment, and Cassandra coughed into her gauntleted fist carefully, Leliana's face remaining blank, but her eyes twinkled a tad,"Y-you dare to presume that you-"

I cut him off at that point, leaning in a tad,"Do you put the lives of millions over you and the Chantries wish for justice on the matter of the Divine? Do you wish to be the one that must live with the thought that your inaction was what caused the deaths of all that the Chantry preach the mercies of the Maker to? Because that Breach will spread, and we, including you, are the only ones that can choose whether to run and hide, or try to do what we can to save those in danger." I say softly, my expression hard, accusing even.

He had puffed himself up a bit, preparing to argue for arguments sake, unwilling to be the one in the wrong here. But...My words had struck true. He slowly deflated, his shoulders slumping, though he still glares at me with heat in his eyes,"Even if I were to sanction such an attempt, the effort is fruitless. You'll never make it to the Temple,"He says wearily.

At this point Cassandra steps forward, and I step back,"We don't know that for a fact, and everything depends on us finding that truth out," She states firmly, pressing a fist against the small table that they'd had set up,"Whether we fail and fall before we reach the Temple, what matters is that we try!"

Leliana chimes in at this point, eyeing everyone,"And, charging head long is not our only option. There is a path through the mountains that, while longer, is more likely to be safe,"

"We lost contact with an entire squad on that pass, it's to risky."

The Chancellor tossed his hands in the air in disgust, shaking his head as the two continued to debate over which path to take to the Temple itself. When they then turned to me, asking for my opinion, my choice really...I just stared at them for a moment, then looked over my shoulder at Varric and Solas who looked...Uneasy. I took a deep breath, looking from them to the mountain top, then to the battlefield that separated us from the Temple,"...I think that we should charge with the soldiers. I haven't felt a pulse for a while, and...I don't think that's a good thing. If I die on the way, see if...if my hand can still be used after I've passed," I request, rubbing my wrist a little and feeling a tad nauseous.

The silence that hung heavily above the group of people around me seemed to last an eternity, until,"You truly wish for this to be fixed."

Starting a little, I look over to the Chancellor, frowning in confusion,"Of course I do. I wish to survive all of this to, but that's not likely. I'm a realist, Chancellor, I will hope for the best, and prepare for the worst," I say seriously, nodding my head slightly.

His contemplative frown was the last I saw of him after that. We left the forward camp not to long after, heading towards the front lines to provide back up and to push the movement forward.

They'd also given me a staff. Which I didn't know how to use. Like, to me, it was a piece of wood that felt tingly, but that was about it.

Whatever. I could just beat the demons with my stick of tingles then.

...Never mind, bad word choice.


	2. When you're awake, it's a Dream

So, you know in the game how everyone just shows up at the edge of the battle field, ready to jump in and save the front lines, pushing forward till victory is at hand? Yeah, not as much.

There was a bit more preparation than that, thankfully, and part of it was Solas taking me to the side and quietly teaching me how to at least attempt to shoot out highly dangerous bolts of magic from my staff. I was hesitant to actually try, not wanting it to blow up in my hands or something, but he was adamant that I at least make the effort if I wanted to survive the coming battle.

Well, when it's put like that, I guess I really didn't have a choice.

I held onto it with both hands like he had shown me, shifting my body so I was firmly planting my feet, back straight and head held up a little. Confidence was key, I'd been told. Oh boy. I closed my eyes, conscious of Solas watching from the sidelines, Varric running through the motions of cleaning Bianca, his treasured Crossbow, Leliana in her darker Chantry robes and Cassandra in her gleaming armor debating over the best way to get to the front lines without risking losing me. It was touching...But not what I was supposed to be focusing on.

This was one of the most basic staves out there, able to be used by almost any Mage, and align with the element they were most attuned with. So, I just had to...focus on sending a force, energy that I had never had before, through this piece of wood in hopes something would happen.

"You are distracting yourself. Clear your mind, let the thoughts of doubt or fear fade away, and focus on what you felt when you brought your magic to the forefront before," Solas called out, making me wince. It was true, I had been distracting myself, not wanting to actually do this. It was one thing to try and protect someone from a Monster in the heat of the moment, when the adrenaline was pumping. And another when there was nothing pushing me past my comfort zone mentally, and the pressure of being watched was present.

I took a deep breath, keeping my eyes closed, focusing on the feel of the grain underneath my fingers, how the wood still held that strange...tingling sensation. Like there was a small amount of electricity flowing through it, yet it wasn't painful to the touch. Frowning, I gripped it tighter, thinking back to when I had frozen those Shades, and called down lightning upon the group of Wisps. I had thought about things connected to what I wanted, what they made me feel. What I wanted to happen. With this...There was less thought needed, right? Was I supposed to...Just think about what I was? What I felt? Then...Channel it? In that case...

I was young.

I hated my intelligence being questioned.

I was a big brother.

I loved comforting others and trying to see the best in everyone.

I was afraid.

I had always dreamed of using magic

Warmth spread throughout my body, invigorating and powerful, pulsing through my veins like liquid chocolate, dripping down my arms until they reached my hands. A sound, alien to me, made me open my eyes, and they widened as they spied the flames licking at the head of the staff, yet not actually harming the wood or stone that made up the tip. I grinned, looking over to Solas for approval, but he regarded me not with pride, but with surprise and a touch of wariness. I frowned, clutching the staff a tad closer,"What? Did you think I couldn't do it or something?" I asked almost petulantly. That's when i noticed that my voice sounded...off. Discordant. Like there was another layer that was slightly out of tune compared to mine. I froze, then slowly set the staff down, the flames flickering to nothing. The warmth remained though.

"So...what's your deal, huh? Spirit of Valor, Justice, something else?" Varric drawls, his crossbow reassembled and resting in his lap, cradled in such a way that he could raise it up quickly if needed,"Sorry, it's just that when someone's eyes start to glow, I can't help but be reminded of my old pal Anders."

I swallowed hard, then closed my eyes, focusing on that warm feeling flooding my body. It...It felt good. Like I was being wrapped up in a warm blanket, all comfortable, yet also feeling like I could stand up to anything. That made me uneasy, distrustful. And that distrust was enough to start to make that warmth fade from my system. I felt a small twinge of disappointment from the back of my mind, almost as if whatever the hell was in here with me was...hurt, by my reaction,"Don't know. Sorta hoping that whatever it is can be removed safely though." I reply in a clipped tone, back to normal, wincing as the bit of lingering warmth in my shoulders and back turned warningly hot for a moment,"Pretty sure they don't like that idea either, so who knows." I opened my eyes again, hoping that they weren't glowing, showing the incriminating evidence that I was _wrong._

Solas stepped forward, his brow furrowed, making these little creases on his bald head that were adorable, a distraction from the turmoil of emotions I was feeling,"If...you and the Spirit were bound together unwillingly, perhaps that could be arranged, but...You seem to be in control," He comments, his eyes flickering over me, analyzing me,"If it was a Demon, it would have attempted to overcome you for it's own agenda by now, but so far it has simply...made itself known by assisting you with a simple task."

A shrug from me was his answer. I didn't know what to say to that really. It almost sounded like he was implying I could work with my...tenant...And that didn't sit well with me. Anders was a perfect example of why that probably wouldn't work out well. After all, Justice had been twisted into Vengeance just by being bound to a Mortal like that. I didn't know what was inside here with me, but I didn't want to be the reason that it was twisted from it's original purpose into something corrupt. Nor did I want to become an abomination, my body being remade into a hideous thing that housed a malevolent being, hellbent on killing and destroying everything around it.

"You three, we're ready to disembark. If you have not prepared yourselves before now, it is to late now," Cassandra barked over to us, before she turned with a hand on her sword, marching off towards the path that would take us towards the front lines. We traded looks, the three of us, then silently gathered our things, staves in hand, Crossbow holstered, and an uneasy air hanging over us all as we followed her.

* * *

It was chaos.

Pure, bloody and heart racing chaos.

We had made it to the front lines, but it wasn't just the few people, maybe twenty, that were there in the game. There were around a hundred, and all of them were fighting, or dragging the wounded or dead off off the battle field, screams and the sound of metal against something foreign ringing through the air. It had a smell to. Like charcoal mixed with blood and sweat, the fires still burning all around from the explosion all an ominous red, deep and vibrant, instead of the usual oranges and yellow.

We made our way to the heart of it, where a Rift, larger than the one's we'd seen before, hung in the sky like a sore on the world. I hung back with Solas and Varric and Cassandra went ahead to provide relief for the struggling soldiers facing the...the Terror demons. I paled, seeing their long, spindly bodies, arching horns and gaping mouth filled to the brim with grey and blacked teeth, their claws striking out to scrape against metal and flesh mercilessly. I readied my staff, focusing on that...that warmth that I had felt before, just thinking of it bring it flooding through my system. I took hold of it with my mind firmly, then directed it towards my staff, not allowing it to spread past my arms and chest, certainly not my head where it would try to make me feel emotions that I had no need of in this situation.

Flames burst into being at the top of my staff, and I allowed myself a grim little smile before I imagined those flames being gathered together. I reared back, then swung my staff like a lacrosse stick, a bolt of orange flame sent soaring through the air to impact against the leg of one of the Terror Demons, two more sent in a sluggish succession, one missing the mark. I cursed as it's attention turned away from the dying soldier before it, the sight of the poor man choking on his own blood making me go pale, before I turned to keep my eyes firmly on the threat. I started to toss more of my little bolts of flame at it, each singing and blackening it's scaly skin, but it showed no reaction other that to jolt a little from the impact, letting out a sound like a mix between a scream of agony and fear. My breath started to come faster now, sweat beading and dripping down the side of my face as it kept coming, no matter how many flames I gathered clumsily and threw at it! It was like it could smell my fear, enticed by it, and it's gaping mouth stretched open even wide, it's claws clicking together menacingly, crouching down as if to jump not twenty feet from me, and-

 _ **S-shhrk! Thnk! Thnk! Thnk!**_

Ice crawled over it's crouched form, encasing it completely and keeping it from pouncing onto me and rending into me with it's hooked claws. Then, three consecutive crossbow bolts slammed into it at a rapid pace, each in a different place, causing the Demon to crumble into green mist that was sent back to the Fade, a shell of ice remaining.

I sent Varric and Solas a weak smile of gratitude, which they returned with a solemn nod, Solas, and a wink, Varric. Then, I turned back to the battle waging around us, watching as a seeming unending wave of Demons continued to pour into the area around us. I grimaced, then raised up my left hand towards the sky, towards the Rift above. Instantly, a stream of green energy snapped into existence between my Mark and the tear in the veil, making me hiss as it burned. I gritted my teeth, not closing my eyes this time as I willed that beam to split into multiple strands, each hooking onto the edge of the Rift and then _pulled!_

The chorus of Demonic screams that echoed out around the field as they were all sent back to the Fade at once, turning into a green mist that zoomed past the closing tear, was like music to everyone's ears. And the sight of the Rift that had been the source of them slamming shut? A masterpiece of art.

The four of us regrouped near the center of it all, the approving glint in Cassandra's eyes, the smile on Varric's face, and the way Solas' shoulders untensed a little was enough to make me beam.

Then, someone approached.

The first thing that I noticed was the man's eyes. A warm brown, just a shade or two away from honey really. Then I noticed his curly blonde hair, cropped short and damp with sweat melted snow. Then I realized who I was looking at when said man sheathed his sword and prowled over to us with a small scowl,"It's about time you all got here, we've lost a lot of good men getting this far," He grumbles, his chiseled features pulled into a frown as he looked over us all, his eyes landing on me before he raised a brow,"So. This is the Prisoner, yes? I hope what they say about you is true."

I wilted a little under that stare, trying to both combat my initial reaction, which was to stare owlishly at the handsome man in front of me, and the knee jerk desire to turn and run away from the disapproval that was layered underneath his words,"A-ah, I hope so as well, though if it's about any theft of chocolate, it wasn't me," I blurt out, then close my eyes in mortification, face flaming,"Hey! Lets go seal up that Breach now!" I yelp, quickly scampering off towards the Temple while trying not to meet the man's eyes.

"Is he always like this Cassandra?"

"He...means well. I think. There are things about him that make little sense, but I think we can trust him for now, Commander Cullen,"

* * *

It was larger than I thought. Everything was, really. You couldn't expect the game designers to fit an actual world, mile for mile into a game and expect the players to deal with a day long trek just to get to the other side of the Hinterlands.

That said, the Temple, or what remained of it, must have been simply massive. After all, the crater that was in it's place was at least the size of the Burlington Palace. With towering spires of glowing red rock to add an almost stylistic flare, if a macabre one. I bit back the remark about how I could imagine my country doing something like this. Wouldn't do to make myself sound more incriminating, nor raise questions of where I was from yet.

We made it to the entrance of the building, but we paused as we came across the first of the...bodies.

Each was stuck in a pose, all varying stances depicting agony or fear, the way they seemed to have been flash crystallized and burned to nothing making me wonder if it was really that quick of a process. Had that one been clawing at his face, trying to get rid of the red crystals growing underneath his skin? Had that one been huddled down, resigned to their fate? I wasn't sure that I wanted to ever find out. I felt light headed, the smell of burning flesh and something almost oddly sweet, but sickly to the point that I wanted to gag was floating through the air. It got worse as we went further into the Temple, walking past crumbling walls and down cracked and broken stairs, picking our way through more slowly, as if the idea of rushing and causing a commotion in this absolute silence, this portrait of the Conclaves last moments, was blasphemous.

When we managed to get to the clearing where the center of the blast had taken place, we heard the shuffle of leather boots moving quickly behind us,"You made it! Thank the Maker!" Gasped Leliana, placing her hands on her knees for a moment, catching her breath,"It is good to see you all survived."

"It is good to see you as well, Leliana," Cassandra replied, but I turned away from that conversation, my eyes drawn to the Breach above, and the Rift that hovered in the air in the center of the blast zone, twitching and shifting in strange ways, pure, crystallized fade energy, displaying itself as a vivid green, pushing in on itself in ways that would have a physic's teacher frothing at the mouth. It was...Pretty, in a way. Also sort of nauseating to look like, when one considered just what had to have happened to cause it's existence.

"...Is...Is it just me, or does that Rift feel...different?" I ask in a murmur, causing all eyes to turn towards me.

Solas cocks his head to the side, raising a brow,"Other than that it is more unstable, and most likely the first? No, I sense little else about it," He replies thoughtfully, looking down at the Rift,"If I am correct, you could unseal, then seal it again, causing the Breach to slam shut above us."

I wriggle my nose a little, then shrug,"I don't know, I guess that could be it. Just felt...angry." I huff, shaking my head. That sounded silly, as much as it was true. The whole area felt permeated with a layer of ambient hatred really, making my skin crawl. It was as if there was something watching me all the time, and not just because of some weird thing in my head that was a hermit.

Que the awkward pause. Varric coughed into his fist a little, even, adding a new layer to what was usually just silence so far.

My eyes roll without my permission, and I start down the path,"Whatever. Cassandra, Leliana? Opening the Rift will probably make the other side perk up at attention, so we should probably prepare for that," I call over my shoulder.

The sound of people suddenly scrambling to get into position thanks to the commanding voices of Leliana and Cassandra was probably a bit to satisfying.

As we traveled down into the crater, dropping down short distances every now and then on whatever surviving architecture was around, and avoiding the massive red crystals that jutted up from the ground like super heated knifes that Varric proclaimed with disgust was Red Lyrium, we heard something. Something...Soft at first, but it quickly grew louder with each repetition.

"Someone, help me!"

"Secure the Sacrifice..."

"Argh, ack, gurgle!"

"Kill the...noisy one."

I swear, my face got hot enough to catch my Staff on fire. That...was me. I could tell, cause whatever was happening, I could tell that it was like when I was just waking up, trying to communicate. Just...in intense pain, it sounded like,"...Damn it." I mutter, ducking my head and trying to turn invisible. Better than feeling everyone's stares burning holes in my back.

"That...is your voice, is it not?" Cassandra asks carefully. She looked half way furious, half way confused and concerned. I could only nod.

"Yeah...Pretty sure that's me. Probably on the ground. In pain. You've heard it before by now," I sigh, rubbing my face, then hissing as the Mark sparks against my nose painfully,"Usually I would be able to remember things like that. Not this one though, sadly."

She shifts uncomfortably, as if not really sure what to make of that, then huffs,"Well...in any case, we should finish what we came here to do, no?" She states, posing the obvious order, slash subject change as a question.

We all pause, then move, a flurry of motion as we position ourselves around the Rift.

"Here goes nothing," I mutter under my breath, feeling oddly exposed being the center of the arc that everyone had made around the Rift, Cassandra and another soldier that had made it through flanking me, swords out and expressions hard. Unlike them, they had been doing this for so long that they were prepared to deal with anything that would be thrown at them. I wasn't so sure I would be able to do that.

I rose my hand up, swallowing down the lump that had formed in my throat and closed my eyes. Breath in, breath out, breath in, out...

 _Zck-Zzzzt!_

I grimaced as I could feel the connection between my Mark and the Rift form, but this time I didn't try to imagine closing it. It was already partially shut, I could feel it, but...It was like when you tried to push the square block into the circle hole. It might fit, sure, if you forced it. But it wasn't right. My brow furrowed, and I imagined those same tendrils that I always had emerging, only this time hey were digging into those crystals, wrapping around them, then slowly and firmly tugging. I huffed, sweat starting to bead on my brow as I began to lean back, pulling, _pulling..._

I felt a sudden lack of connection, the resistance I'd felt before vanishing and sending me stumbling back. I opened my eyes to see something dart out of the huge, ethereal hole in the air, sending out waves of green energy that glimmered strangely. That quick little something curled onto the ground off to the side, it's mist like form flickering, before it suddenly burst up and out like a balloon being inflated at max speed. A roar of triumph rocked the ground, and the now massive, hulking demon grinned down at us all. Electricity crackled along it's muscled form, at least twelve feet tall, with huge curving horns, two sets with one smaller than the others, adding another three feet. It's eyes, all seven of them, laid mis-matched on it's face, and it's mouth was full of huge, sharp teeth. It's arms, long and bulging with muscle, were like a gorilla's. Barring that it had no fur, only scaly flesh that had massive blades of bone that jutted out along it's forearms.

A Pride Demon. One of the most powerful ones.

I looked at it, then my staff which barely bothered a spindly Terror Demon, thought about my weak spells that were more showy at this point than anything...Then slowly nodded,"...Nope. Fuck that," I stated simply, then closed my eyes and focused on that warm feeling I had experienced before. I poked and prodded at it's source, getting a vague feeling of annoyance from it, before I forcefully shoved at it, imagining that I was giving it control of my eyes.

I admit, it was satisfying to feel it's equivalent of an,'oh shit!' moment coming from my intruder.

The source of that warmth withdrew from the forefront of my head, from my eyes, then began sending as much warmth as it could flooding through me, making me gasp as my entire body began to feel like it was on fire. Not painfully, but that intense heat was everywhere, on every inch of my body, thick and pulsing, like there were little men pressing hot needles into my flesh that brought a mix of pain and relaxation at the same time. I heard a strangled gasp from the man next to me, heard Cassandra's cry of,"Daniel, what are you doing?!" But I ignored them. That same, strange detached feeling was back, but this time I wanted it. I was expecting it. I didn't know if I would be able to take back full control after this, but I knew that the big hulking mass of Pride would squish me in a second if I started to try and close the Rift instead of fighting it.

Fight fire with fire at this point.

The Pride demon's eyes, all seven of them, zeroed in on me as I began to literally glow, the veins of my body giving of a soft gold light, my eyes doing the same I imagined, though I couldn't tell. I didn't care really, there was only me and the now approaching enemy. I began stepping towards it as well, dropping my staff on the way carelessly. We both ignored the shouts of those around us, the arrows and swords flying through the air to try and dig into the Demon's flesh, and the screams of those like Varric to,"-get your ass back away from that thing!"

We stopped about twenty feet from each other, the Demon's head tilting to the side in curiosity, malice gleaming in it's gaze," **You...You are no mere Mortal. You feel of the Fade, yet I know you do not wear that sack of flesh like the rest of us would** ,"It rumbled out, crossing it's arms loosely. It's blades made the pose look like there was a massive 'x' covering it's form, but I found no amusement in it.

I was about to simply attack it, not really interested in trying to talk with a being that was literally the manifestation of Pride, but...

 _"I wear nothing. I steal nothing. This body is his own, I am just an...unwelcome tag along,"_ Spilled from my mouth, sounding like a mix of my own voice with overtones of something other. Like the sound of an orchestra tuning, slightly discordant but beautiful, yet sounding wrong and strange coming out of the mouth of a single person. My eyes widened in surprise as my mouth moved, and my body tensed as I tried to move, but found that I couldn't. I felt my lips tug awkwardly down into a frown," _But...I also do not wish to perish. Nor, do I wish for him to perish either, so I must be the one to fight this battle,_ " It continued, and it felt like the warmth that flooded my veins was like liquid metal, hothothot, yet just this side of painful, as if the pain was being dulled before it could actually reach my mind.

"...Did the Spirit just quote me?...I feel like I should sue for copyright." I heard someone grumble behind me, but it was getting harder to hear, to even see and feel as the warmth remained.

" **Hah...Hahahahahaaa!** " The Pride Demon chuckled, tilting it's head back to do so, before it suddenly grew serious, glaring at me. I could barely see it, my vision starting to darken and grow fuzzy around the edges, the sensation of being pushed gently, firmly to the back of my own mind making me panic. I tried to push back, which made the fuzziness abate for a moment, but the source of the warmth just pushed back harder, still trying to be gentle, but still overpowering me.

Soon, I was trapped in a dark little corner of my own mind, detached from all sensation. Everything but a set of dulled emotions that were giving me a weak trickle of fear and concern.

I hated it.

* * *

I waited in the darkness for a while, restless, trapped, unable to really do anything save think and worry. Though, the latter was hard when all I could muster was a vague sense of alarm that I was in a void inside my mind, while some other being was piloting my body, potentially fighting a Pride Demon.

I'd have to see about fixing that if I got out of here. I knew that I would be panicking about not being able to panic later, and it was much to troublesome to try and talk myself out of a future emotional response that I knew was bound to occur without my control.

No, best to focus on other things. This had been my only moment to really stop and think about what was going on around me, and with me. Perhaps I should organize it in a list form for my own convenience? Hm...No, it would do me no good if I was unable to properly reconstruct it later on when my emotions were fully restored and I was in full control of my facilities.

So, to begin with...I was in a world other than my own, where the entire planet was regularly under siege by a force known as the,'Blight,'. Said Blight was when Darkspawn, twisted creatures created by the Blight, found and corrupted an Ancient God, who were all to be said sleeping and bound beneath the earth. Then, the now titled Archdemon and it's growing horde of Darkspawn would flood the surface in an attempt to kill anything and everything. Lovely. So, the Blight originated when...The Tevinter Magisters, at the Behest of Old Gods, stepped into the Fade. The specifics are unclear...But this was the world that I found myself in at the moment.

Perhaps I should have paid more attention to the lore when I played the games.

Currently, the veil had been ripped open once more, though I do not think that the process of creating the Blight could be repeated, thankfully. My memories of the events surrounding this time period were...Fuzzy. As if there was a thick fog that came in to cloud my thoughts and create a sense of absent mindedness, eventually leaving me wondering what I was trying to figure out in the first place. Perhaps something external, or the Spirit that was currently in control of my body had been messing about with my memories, or I simply had hit my head a few to many times...I suppose I should get both avenues checked out, in case of a concussion.

It was quite boring in here. Was this what the Spirit dealt with while I was in control? How dull. I tried to bring up some memories of beautiful things I'd imagined, or seen, but...They all felt dull, leeched of color and life.

Hmm...Emotion must be restored quickly. It would not do for me to continue this way. Perhaps if the intruder in my mind and body willingly gave back control, I could maybe do some decorating or something for it?

Suddenly, there was a slight sensation that echoed throughout my mind, like the feeling of my body tingled, and I was getting just the very faintest hint of it. I pulled my best mental equivalent of a frown, noting how it seemed to fade quickly, but then was repeated a few more times. What was this, I wondered? I tried to focus on what it felt like to see through my own eyes, pushing and shoving blindly in the darkness to try and-

I gasped, looking up with wide eyes, something hot and wet dripping down my cheeks, my chest hurting like someone had taken a bat to it over and over, every nerve in my body screaming in pain as I was suddenly the only one in control once more. I could vaguely hear someone screaming my name behind me, but my eyes were locked on the beam that connected my hand to the trembling Rift in the sky, pulsing and thick like a cable unlike the ones before, the tendrils I had been using now ropes that yanked forcefully at the edges of the slowly shrinking tear.

It hurt. Oh gods, everything hurt, but my hand was the worst. It was like I was sticking it in acid, but I couldn't pull it out, couldn't even scream because there was so. Much. Pain!

My vision was fading fast again, but this time I could tell I was just losing consciousness instead of being suppressed, the shock my body was going through because of the pain making it start to shut down. I was...I was dying, and I might not even shut the Breach, or even make it stop growing, I was going to-

I took in a short, sharp breath, then shut my eyes closed tight, forcing away all those thoughts of dying, of failing, of the pain, ohgodsthepain! A-and...Just focused on the Rift. It was bigger than the rest, but my Mark had grown as well. It would take someone strong to survive doing this, but...I only needed to be strong enough to fucking close this thing before I keeled over. I ground my teeth, the sound barely registering as my consciousness wavered, and I gave one. Last. Pull.

Then, everything was green. Then dark.


	3. When you're no longer alone

When you dream, your subconscious brings things to the surface so that your mind can process and assimilate new information and work through things that are bothering you in the real world, whether you know they are or not. They can be strange, scary, confusing, enlightening...All of these things and more. That's the beauty of the human mind, I suppose.

Thedas is different. The Fade is different. And your mind doesn't get as much of a choice as to what happens in your dreams as you might hope it would. Spirits and Demons dwell within the Fade, reenacting memories and fantasies in twisted or strange ways, while you're oblivious in the mean time, the fog of sleep and the pressure of the Veil keeping you from seeing past the visage. In return, of course, you can't be touched by the Demons either, not unless you're a Mage. Of course, this isn't true for everyone. Some could see and even shape the Fade around them, able to travel in their Dreams all over, even slip into other's dreams and interact with them.

I wasn't sure if I could do that, but I sure as hell could see the twisted, blacked and green glossed landscape around me.

I stared quietly at it all, finding myself sitting on a rather large boulder, the black and green rock beneath me slowly shifting from glossy and dull, back and forth. It was beautiful, in a way. Like...How an explosion could be appreciated, I guess. I could tell that the land around me, the floating islands, the distant horizon in which a black spot hovered, almost like an inverted sun, could have once been something pretty. It was strange, but when I looked at the towering spires of rock and the floating streams of black, almost oily liquid, the green shades and the flickers of color that dotted the surroundings, I thought that it was beautiful. But I also thought it looked tragic as well. Like some part of me knew that this wasn't all this place could be.

Weird, I know.

I sat there for a while, I think, before my first visitor arrived.

"Well hello there my dear~..." A husky voice purred from behind me, sending a shiver down my spine.

I frowned, a warning bell ringing in my head, but I looked over my shoulder anyway, a sense of calm settled around me like a shroud. It was a Demon, though no where near as horrific looking as the other's I'd encountered. He stood about six foot, a pair of curving horns adding another half a foot to his overall height. In between those horns floated a little ball of purple flames, chains connecting the blackened appendages, dipping down to brush the top of a head of auburn hair. I followed those long tresses till I found the face of the Demon that had come up behind me, taking in handsome handsome, chiseled features and the confident smirk that painted his lips. His...though I knew it could be male or female if it chose...His body was shaped to look male, appearing as if it were sculpted to perfection, a silk loincloth barely keeping his modesty, if he had any, from view. His soft looking purple skin flexed teasingly, and I pulled my gaze back up to the Demon's face with a small flush,"It's rude to stare without giving a name first, you know," He drawled.

My lips pull down further into a frown, but I nod. The shroud of serenity that wrapped around me was...a bit mind numbing, making me want to only rest and watch this strange world, taking it in, but my sense of manners had me standing before I could even think it through. I gave the other a small bow, arms at my side and bending at the waist politely,"My apologies. I would say that I was merely distracted, but I have a feeling that was the intention," I murmur, rising from my bow. I felt...Numb, almost. Or, maybe not numb, but very very calm. It helped to think about things like why a Demon would take such a form,"My name is Daniel, and you are Desire, yes?" I query, tilting my head to the side.

The wry smile that had been present on his lips flickered, wavering at my lack of reaction to his form. Motion behind him drew my eye, a long tail ending in a spaded tip\ lashed once, before simply twitching gently,"Daniel, a fine name indeed," He murmured, stalking forward, leading with a sensual swing to his hips,"I am Desire...And what brings one such as you to such a dreary place like this? Most would have had a nice little dreams spun for them by now,"He paused right in front of me, pausing, his breath warm against the skin of my face, before he slipped past with a low chuckle, stepping out and into the air casually,"But not you it seems~"

I followed him with my eyes, turning to make sure my back wasn't bared to the Demon,"Not me," I agreed, clasping my hands in front of me as my eyes drifted away from the Desire Demon to the landscape past him,"And I don't know. I'm not complaining though, I think this world is interesting, if sad," I added, flicking my eyes up to meet the Demon's gold ones,"Plus, with what I've been experiencing lately, I'm more likely to get a nightmare than something pleasant."

He frowns, tilting his head to the side, causing the flame that hovered between his horns to gutter, his entire body sliding into the motion to send him gliding around me in a slow circle,"You are a confusing one," He grumbles," Mmm, what do you want?" He murmurs, almost as if asking himself,"Family. Safety. To master your new powers..."He trails off, coming to a stop with a confused and a slightly amused expression,"And to curl up by a fireplace with some chocolate...that one is rather strong."

My cheeks colored a little, and I averted my gaze, fiddling with my fingers a little,"I just like chocolate, alright?" I mumbled,"And the others...Family is the most important thing to me,"My spine straightened as I say that last part, and I looked up once again, only to see that the Demon snuck up on me, peering at me with an unreadable expression.

His eyes narrow as they flick over my face, one of his perfectly manicured hands raising up to flutter it near my cheek, before it was withdrawn,"Mortals. You are all so...strange," He murmurs, slowly pulling back, gently landing in front of me,"But you are the strangest I've seen so far...I've tried to send you into a Dream more than once, but you've yet to even bat an eyelash," He pouts, shaking his head,"And I was so looking forward to playing with you," He sighs, withdrawing to a more respectable distance.

An eyebrow raises at that, and I can feel my wariness grow at the blatant admission that the Demon had given me,"...I won't be playing with anyone in this place, but," I say dryly, shaking my head with a small grin,"I'm not against chatting with those that approach, as long as they don't attack me."

Those golden eyes widened, then his horned head tilted to the side slightly,"An offer? Desires for companionship, contact, learning...You want to learn about me, and share in return..."His tail flicks once, twice, his body eerily still. It reminded me of a cat that was trying to make up it's mind about something. He huffed, frowning in confusion, before he began to withdraw, his form starting to flicker at he edges, dispersing into a violet mist that floated away into the green beyond.

My first visitor. But, not my last.

* * *

When I woke up again, I couldn't tell if I felt better, or worse the first time I woke up. Granted, I was some where warm, moderately comfortable, and not in chains or rope that I could tell with my eyes closed. I counted that towards better, but the fact that every inch of my body felt like one giant sore bruise tilted it away from the good side. That, and the fuzzy sense that something startling was about to-

CRASH! "I-I'm so sorr-"

"Ohgodsnotoloudforthisearlyinthemorning!" I babble out, having shifted enough in the bed to startle my visitor, quiet as she had been. I lurched up unsteadily, squinting through a curtain of tangled, wavy brown hair at the pale and fairly trembling elf girl. I huffed silently, looking at the crate full of glass vials on the ground, most not broken or cracked that I could make out with my fuzzy morning vision, so I turned my attention back to the girl,"First rule. No being sorry. Second rule, please try to be quiet when people are sleeping. Third rule, chocolate is wonderful. Amen." I muttered, before flopping back down and snuggling into the pillow that was on the bed. Meh, straw...To tired to care.

There was another awkward moment that hung in the air, though this time I wasn't affected by it. It was solely for the poor woman that I had confuzzled with strange morning talk. There was the sound of feet shuffling in place, before the woman cleared her throat,"M-m'lord? I'm so-" She cut herself off, a strange mix between confusion and frustrated spilling past her lips as a noise, before she could start again,"M-m'Lady Cassandra requested your presence at the Chantry, your liege, so...m-maybe you should get up?"

I hid my smile against the pillow I'd plopped onto. Step one, complete.

With a groan, I slowly pulled myself up into a sitting position, stretching my arms up high, then opening my eyes once more, giving the scared looking girl a smile,"Excellent, thank you for the information, it was very helpful, Miss?..."I trail off, my grin widening at how she squirms in place, not being allowed to leave due to questions directly for her.

She gulps, then drops into a jerky, improper curtsy/bow mix, ducking her head as her cheeks redden,"Riva sir, t-that's my name," She stutters out, shifting in place uncomfortably.

I can feel my body language soften, and I lean forward slightly, pulling my legs up to sit cross legged under the covers,"Thank you Riva, and don't worry, I'm just an odd one in the mornings, sorry if I'm a bit...much," I make a face playfully, smiling after,"Well, I'll let you get on with the day. I...need to find pants..." I mutter, brow furrowing as I start peering around the room with narrowed eyes.

Riva nodded, hesitating, then scurried out of the room. Most likely to babble a confusing mix about the...Herald.

I'd been slouching in bed, still blearily looking around for clothing for myself. I stopped slouching. Clothing didn't really matter anymore.

I was the Herald. That mean't...I had survived. I had managed to push through and not die trying to close the Breach, and now?...Now I was going to have to survive for a lot longer. Because now I was a symbol of Hope. I wasn't sure if I was relieved, terrified, or something else entirely. I didn't want to die, but...I also didn't think that I could do everything that the 'Herald', the Inquisitor was supposed to do. The Inquisitor had to kill people. The Inquisitor had to reshape entire Empires, fight off abominations from before the First Blight, to...And I had only heard mention of it...Lose my hand.

I looked down at my lap, at the sparking palm that sat almost innocently there, feeling...feeling like the hand that I was moving, fingers twitching, wasn't quite my own. It...It was fated to be someone elses, I guessed. Maybe it would be Solas who did it, or someone who had managed to figure something out about it, I wasn't sure. I'm not sure I wanted to know.

Hot liquid splattered onto the mark, sizzling quietly, filling the heavy silence of the room with it's strange sound.

* * *

When I finally got outside, cleaned, as much as a basin of water some soap root and a cloth could do, and clothed in a simple linen shirt and pants, a thicker material that I didn't know making up the coat I got to wear, I was...Not okay, but better. I'd decided to try and just...Just do the best i could. It was funny, I remember reading about people falling into stories, then halfway treating them as if they weren't real.

I can't really see how I could treat this as not real, when there was constantly some pain in my muscles, the icy winds catching in my lungs uncomfortably, the hazy memory of the sheer agony of trying to close the Breach was present in my mind. No, there was no mistaking this for fiction. Fiction got to have happy endings, and I didn't think I'd be getting mine.

You know the first thing that I saw when I opened that door though? People. Not just the general milling about, the thrum of a group working together to keep everything running, but a crowd of people all at attention, guards in full armor staring straight ahead, not moving a muscle as they hold their attention, the civilians not doing quite as well. I blinked at them owlishly, then hesitantly skittered past them, my cheeks and ears reddening from more than the cold from the admiring, speculative, and distrusting looks that were thrown my way. I made my way towards the Chantry as quickly as I could, wishing that the coat I was wearing had a high collar that I could hide my face in, if just to avoid the staring! The group of Chantry sisters waiting outside the building was the worst though, as they all bowed to me at once, some of them whispering about how I had been brought in chains under their breath to their neighbor. I swear, I had never been happier to enter a church in all my life. I closed the door behind me gently, not slamming it like I wanted to, then turned to look at what the Chantry was actually like.

Old. Musty. Dimly lit, that was for sure. The red rug that lead towards the Council room was a pretty good indicator of where I was supposed to go, and there was no one else around that I could really talk to or try to distract myself with in preparation for facing the music. I let my eyes wander up along the wooden and stone pillars that curved up into arching beams, barely visible in the light of the candles all around. It was an impressive bit of architecture, that was for sure, and it was a shame that it wasn't better lit, or had more window. I'd bet that it would have looked magnificent with the sunlight streaming in through some stained glass windows. Soon though, I heard the muffled voices of the three people that I was halfway dreading, halfway hoping to hear. The argumentative tone of them told me that I'd be interrupting a tense atmosphere, but I was pretty sure that I was going to do that anyway.

I pushed open the heavy oak door, slipping in and shutting it quietly behind me, eyeing the two Templar guards that flanked me warily. The room went silent, and I turned my attention away from the men in shiny armor, to the group of people that were scattered around the table that was settled in the center of the room.

"Guards, seize him. I want him ready for transport to Orlais within the hour,"

My expression deadpanned, and I leveled an unimpressed brow at the Chancellor even as Cassandra delayed the order,"Really? I've been unconscious for days, surviving only because I passed out from pain while trying to fix the big hole in the sky, and you still want to put me on trial still?" I drawled, crossing my arms,"What, did I insult someone's mother while I was in a coma?"

All three of them, Leliana, Cassandra, and the Chancellor all pause. Leliana looked halfway amused, and the other half exasperated. Cassandra looked like she wanted to maintain her stony expression, but I managed to spy a hint of a curl to her lips. The Chancellor just sputtered, flushing as he tried to come up with a response.

Leliana was quick to take advantage of the moment of silence and steps forward, hands clasped behind her,"As it is, Chancellor Rodrick, we no longer view Daniel as a suspect. He was...incapable of taking any hostile action when the Conclave exploded, and his efforts to fix the damage caused by the explosion speaks highly of both his character and innocence we feel," She said smoothly, before her expression turned sharp,"That does not mean that we have no suspects though. Whoever caused all of this was someone that the Most Holy did not expect. Perhaps they died at the Conclave, or still have allies that still live..."

The way that she stared at the Chancellor caused the flush to his cheeks to quickly shift into a pallor, and he took a step back,"I, am a suspect?!" His eyes narrowed, and he then stood straight, hands fisting at his side,"You walk a dangerous line, all of you do," He sneered,"The Chantry does not recognize your authority as it is, face it, you've failed!"

WHAM!

I admit. I might have jumped when Cassandra slammed a massive book onto the table. But at least I wasn't the only one, even though my fellow jumper was the Chancellor.

"Do you know what this is?" Cassandra purred out, her eyes narrow,"This is a writ from the Divine, granting us the authority to act!" She steps around the table, towards Rodrick, causing him to back up as she emphasizes each statement with a poke from her gauntleted finger,"We will close the Breach, find out those who are responsible, and restore peace! With, or without the Chantry, and as of this moment, I declare the Inquisition...reborn!"

I watched as the Chancellor clams up, his eyes hardening, and I kept watching as he stalked out of the room, the door slamming behind him loudly,"...Well. I suppose that's one way to do it." I mused.

Leliana sighs softly, placing a gloved hand on the tome that had been slammed down, tracing the flaming eye here,"We are not prepared. We've no forces, no allies, and now? No Chantry support," Her lips thin, her pretty face creasing with worry.

Cassandra turned to her, her body language shifting from that of which she'd used to deal with the Chancellor, aggressive and powerful, to more reserved and tired,"True. But, we have no choice," She shook her head, placing both hands on the table and bowing her head for a moment,"But...We are not without a way to fix things. With you by our side, we can try to restore order to the world," She finally said, looking up directly at me,"Though, we should warn you, many already are claiming that you are..."She trailed off.

Leliana picked up from there, raising her chin a little,"The Herald of Andraste. It is likely a large cause of why the Chantry refuses to aid us, and in fact denouces us, but many see you as Andraste's chosen," She smooths her hands down her robes absently, her eyes sharp as she awaits my reaction though.

I'm silent for a moment, staring at them both for a moment, watching them watch me. I inhale slowly, hold that breath for a moment, then release it. I pull out one of the chairs that ring the table and settle into it, letting my blank look shift into a serious one,"Fine. I...Don't like it. But, if the people get hope from having that kind of symbol, then...Fine," I state, grimacing. My hands were clutching at my pants at that point, shaking a little, and I hoped that they didn't notice.

They looked surprised, at first. Cassandra more so, if just for the reason that hers was a more open expression. Leliana's only sign of any surprise, was the widening of her eyes and the straightening of her spine.

"That is...a better reaction than we had hoped, to be honest," Cassandra finally says, the silence becoming stifling, and my nerves fraying along with it.

I snort, shaking my head, my hands like vices on my pants, threatening to tear them if I gripped anymore,"Oh, no mistake, I'm a fucking mess right now," I say with a bark of laughter that sounds almost ugly,"I cried before I got here, and I'm probably going to break down a few more times today. I mean...I have to do it again, don't I? I have to try again, risk dying again, be used as a religious symbol for something that I don't follow, fight for my life and the lives of everyone around me when I've no training at all, be sure not to let anyone know that I doubt, possibly take the lives of other p-people, and p-probably possessed by some..."I clamped my mouth shut, bowing my head as the burn in my eyes got to much, and the swirling emotions in my chest bubbled up and over my limit. I don't make any noises, always a quiet crier, but hot tears dripped down my cheeks to splatter against my clenched fists,'Y-you know something?...I wasn't able to...to actually cry before. T-the tears wouldn't come..." I managed to laugh out, the sound quickly turning to a sob,"I'm...I'm only eighteen dammit!"

The soft sobs that I let out were the first I'd let out in a long time. I didn't even look up until a gloved hand gently pressed against my shoulder, and another grasped my chin, bringing my bloodshot eyes up to meet a pair of weary looking blue ones,"What we ask of you is not fair. I will not pretend and say that we could manage without you, but...You will not be alone, Daniel. I can promise that you will not be doing this alone, nor will we simply throw you into the flames without preparing you before hand," Leliana murmured, her hand cupping my chin moving up to wipe my tears away,"And it is okay to cry, to let it all out. I would say that you've managed this far without breaking down is remarkable."

They let me gather my emotions under my control before we continued. I was grateful. I knew I wouldn't get many chances to do this as time went on, not with so much to do, and so little time to do it.

* * *

We talked after that. About what would need to happen, what steps there were to at least attempt to start putting things back together resembling something like order. First order of business, make sure I get some training in magic.

Normally, I'd be ecstatic at hearing that I'd be learning to use magic. But, since it seemed that whatever magic I did have is tightly tied to the intruder in my head, I found myself leery.

Nevertheless, I reported to Solas' little hut near Adan's apothecary, not to long after the meeting I'd had with the two women. I was still stared at, but there weren't clustered crowds waiting for me to wake up so that they could salute me, so I didn't run quite as fast as before getting to his home. When I did arrive, my breath coming out in little white puffs in the icy air, Solas was already waiting outside with his arms crossed, a stoic expression on his sharp features. I offered him a small wave and an uncertain smile, coming to an awkward stop a few feet from him and ducking my head into a little bow,"A-ah, morning Solas, I was told that I needed to come to you for training?"

He bowed his head in return to my actions, a flicker of a smile curling the edges of his lips,"Indeed. I find the fact that your journey through the Fade gave you such a gift impressive, but it will do you little good if you cannot harness this new gift," He said smoothly, turning around and pushing open the door to his little hut, gesturing for me to follow as he moves towards a small bookshelf,"Leliana was kind enough to procure some Tomes of basic spell casting from the mages that dwell within the encampment, though I am unsure how much of a help they will be to you," He adds, the look he gives the tomes a touch disdainful. I note to look at them anyway.

After entering in after him, closing the door behind me, I simply sat on the ground, legs crossed,"Right then. First thing that I'd like to learn is how to not get possessed when I call on my magic, which is tied directly to the thing that occasionally possesses me," I state simply, offering a slight grin to Solas as the other male pauses in his perusal of the books, before looking back at me with an almost owlish expression.

"...I...Suppose that would be a good place to start, if we are to achieve any progress," He finally says, padding over, then sitting down in a similar style as me, a frown on his face,"May I ask if you know what is...taking up residence in your mind Daniel? Yours is...a strange case, in the fact that it does not seem to wish to take control," He muses.

I shrug, looking down at my hands, curling and uncurling my fingers idly, watching how the mark on my left hand glimmers eerily in the lamp light,"...It doesn't feel like anything I've felt before," I say quietly."A Desire Demon visited me last night...Couldn't do anything but talk to me, even though they'd tried to put me under their influence more than once," I leaned back onto my hands, looking up at the ceiling now, avoiding Solas' piercing gaze purposefully,"I didn't feel in danger though, even when he admitted that. I felt...protected. There was this golden glow around me the entire time, but I never saw what was possessing me at any rate."

Solas was quiet for a moment,"...Hmm...Perhaps, if you indeed visited the Fade in your Dreams, but were unable to find the Spirit within you, we should try another avenue, to at least gather information of what it is, yes?" He queries, and I turn my gaze back towards him. His stormy grey eyes were alight with both curiosity and a puzzled hesitance, his body language eager, yet I could tell he was controlling himself.

My lips pulled into a wry grin, and I shrugged again,"I could try poking it again, but so far only emotions are carried over as any form of communication. That, and I can give it access to my senses, but that allows it to fully wrest control," I wrinkle my nose, reaching up to rub it thoughtfully,"Hm...I guess, if you thought it was safe, I could bring it to the surface for you to talk to. Sorta don't think it wants to be in me, and from what I remember, it was pretty eager not to allow me to die, or to take control full on."

The look Solas gives me is the look a parent gives their child when they say something stupid, but there's a small amount of logic behind it that makes them squint. I flashed him a bright smile in return.

"That is...most likely an unwise idea, and I would feel more comfortable with you simply meditating and attempting to open a link of communication, rather that allowing it to possess you completely once more," He says carefully, his eyes flickering with something, some strange emotion before I can pinpoint what it is,"While it was indeed impressive against the Pride Demon, I do not think it would be pleased with being summoned forth in such a manner."

I blink, then nod slowly,"Kay then...I guess I'll get to working on that," I muse. I scoot backwards away from Solas, making him look at me oddly, until my back is pressed up against the wall of the room. I use it to correct my posture, then shift until I'm using the building itself to help me stay upright. I gave the elf a wink before I closed my eyes. I was sure he had advice on how to meditate, but I didn't need it, thankfully.

I concentrated on my breathing, in, out, in, out, a slow, steady pace that I was in control of consciously. Then, I worked on slowly shifting my body till I was more comfortable, yet still supported, thinking about calming things I'd experienced, then imaging that warm sensation was spreading across my tense shoulders and sore muscles, soothing them and helping them to loosen up. Then, after my body was taken care of, pleasantly warm in the otherwise cold hut, I focused on my thoughts. The key wasn't to clear it, but to instead follow each problem and thought until it's end, till none remained.

I was stuck here, wasn't I? Probably, and it sucked, but I was going to make the best of it.

Would i have to kill people? ...Yes. Yes I would. And I wouldn't be prepared for it, no matter what.

What if I never went back? My Mom would...spiral into depression, but would hang on for my little Sister. My Dad would become even more of a shut in, and Grandma would force him to come live with him.

What would happen if I went back? I...don't know. I would try to explain what had happened, but only my Mom would believe me, I think.

What did I think the thing inside me was? Something not quite normal, even for Spirits.

This place was cold. I hated the cold. It sucked.

Solas reminded me of my Dad, but with my Mom's cunning and ruthlessness. Scary.

Varric reminded me of my Uncle Don, charming yet sad. Full of ideas that are put to paper, memories.

Cassandra like my Band Director back in high school. Snarky and fun in secret, but someone to fear on the field.

Cullen was...cute. To old for me, probably, but cute.

Magic was hard...Yep. It was.

It went on like that for a while, just thoughts swirling through my head, each addressed and sorted through, until I felt...Lighter. My body felt fuzzy, almost like pins and needles pricking all along my skin, yet softer than that pain. My head itself was like a giant cotton ball, feeling not quite attached to my shoulders, and the very room around me felt warmer, cozier than before. It was hard to even muster up anymore thoughts in this state, but I managed to get one thought out through the mental haze. Spirit.

The back of my mind, that dark place where the being that shared head space with me dwelled, shivered. My eyes fluttered underneath my eyelids, and I reached out gently to poke at the being once more, softly, inquisitively, relaxed by the meditation. The response I got was not as gentle, but not unkind. It was like when someone grabs your hand or finger after you've poked them over and over, but they aren't really mad. Gently, but firmly keeping me in place. I sent a content thrum through the link there, then sent another inquisitive pulse. I could feel it quiver in response, like my signals were enough to make it's form waver.

There was a slight pause, before a returning vibration was sent out and-

There was the sensation of something being stretched, then snapping. Then, there was darkness. That same void that I'd been in before when the Spirit had taken over surrounding me, cutting off all feeling...Save my actual emotions this time, thankfully. I frowned mentally, trying to squirm or push my way out of the realm of nothing that I'd managed to land myself in again, but I was stopped by a feeling of...warmth.

 _Curiositywarinessconcernjoyanxousness-_

I reeled back mentally from the onslaught of foreign emotion, the warmth that had surrounded me fading slightly. It quickly followed me, but it wrapped around me more carefully, as if trying to be gentle.

 _Curiosity. Question?_ _Purpose._

This time it wasn't as overwhelming, though I was curious myself as to why the being in me didn't just use words to communicate like it had with the others.

 _Exasperation. Answer._

There was suddenly a vision within my minds eye, though it quickly became painful to feel and see, as if someone was squeezing my head tightly. Before me was a line, long and bright, and on either side of it were two beings. One was bright and pulsating, the other dimmer, but glowing a myriad of colors that the other lacked. The brighter of the two attempted to reach past the line, and as it did, both beings wavered and flickered dangerously.

 _Answer. Question? Purpose._

The vision faded, and I was once again floating in the nothingness, wrapped carefully in warmth. I did my best impression of a mental frown, trying to figure out what the vision meant,"...You can't interact completely with me in this place?" I tried to say, but of course, I had no mouth, no body to say it with. The message still got across I thought."And I'm here to...talk to you, to learn."

 _Acknowledgment. Curiosity...Shame._

The last one alarmed me, though I also was a tad comforted by it. Whatever this was, it had the capability to feel regret for it's actions, but at the same time, it sounded like it had done something to regret, which...Wasn't good. "...I'll address the shame later. What are you? What do you want?" I said/sent out, mild feelings of frustration and exasperation leaking out.

 _...Old. Peace. Order. Wariness._

My frustration increased, as I knew that my question hadn't been completely answered. Just from the way that it communicated, I could tell that it was withholding information,"You are old, yes, but are you Peace and or Order? Or are those the things you want?" I pressed back.

 _Fear. Acknowledgement. Peace. Peacepeacepeace!_

I reeled again as the impression of peace, gentle as it is, was sent battering against my mind. And this thing was afraid of me?!

 _Apology! Concern. Wariness. Peace. Acknowledgment._

At least it didn't seem to want to hurt me, so that was a plus. Then again, if sorta felt like someone had just punched me in the brain once or twice, so maybe it should think about working on it's control..."S-so...You're...Peace?" I sent out, tinging the message with a hint of disbelief.

 _Shame. Peace? Acknowledgement. Order? Acknowledgement. Spirit?...Negative..._

A moment.

Another.

"...What do you mean by that?..."

 _Shame. Fear. Old. Refusal. Concern._

I let out a mental sigh, wondering, for a moment, if I had a senile spirit in my mind.

 _Irritation...Sick? Denial. Spirit? Denial!_

Usually, such a response would amuse me, but all I felt was a growing concern,"What are you then, if not a Spirit?" I pressed back.

 _...Old. Older. Oldest._

"...This is a very strange communication barrier, I'll admit, but even I can tell that you're not answering complete-" I started, but the warmth around me faded quickly as the sensation of something colder pulled on the back of my consciousness, tugging me towards awareness. I tried to resist it, the warmth of the still mysterious, perhaps even more so, entity trying to help keep me in place, but it was to late.

 _Terror! Concernsadnesslonelinessprotectivness-_

And as if in reverse, the sense of something being put back in place, like time being rewound to before whatever barrier had snapped and both myself and the entity were closed off even more.


End file.
